Being Good to Myself Means…

Embrace Yourselftaking time to think
pedicures
massages
getting plenty of sleep
reading for fun
time with friends and family
buying myself flowers
watching clouds
taking time to grow my spirit
encouraging myself and others
believing in myself
giving myself nice things
traveling
sitting in the garden
wearing clothes I love
being healthy
nurturing authentic relationships
focusing on what’s important
learning when to say “no”
learning when to say “enough”
expecting respect
knowing I’m competent
remembering my why
being silly
ending toxic relationships
finding my strength
remembering my goals
deciding for myself what’s right for me

Three Members of The Uninsured

Chose WiselyAbout 10 years ago, I quit a job with health benefits and took one without them. Four months later, I got sick and spent 3 days in the hospital.

The hospital social worker called and pressured me to sign up for the Oregon Health Plan (Oregon’s Medicaid dollars; similar to MediCal, et.al.). I said, “No, thanks”. The next time she called, I said, “Don’t call me any more.” I got calls for two more weeks, which I did not answer.

I hadn’t received a bill yet, but knew the balance because I’d called the billing department and asked. The total was about 6 grand (of course, if I’d had insurance, the insurance company’s bill would have ended up at about 2 grand).

Finally, on the eighth or ninth call from the social worker (and still no bill), I said, emphatically, “I’m not applying for OHP. Would you please honor my request to stop calling me.” She insisted I needed to apply. I insisted I didn’t. She pressured me to tell her my income. I refused, telling her it was none of her gorram business.

She said, in a condescending tone, “How do you expect to pay your bill if you don’t apply for OHP?” I said, “I haven’t even gotten the f-n bill yet, but if paying the bill is what it will take for you to quit trying to get me on welfare, fine. You get on your little computer, and I’ll pay you right now.”

Silence.

She transfered me to the billing department and I paid with a credit card. It took me nearly 4 years to pay it off, but pay it off I did. Gave up some things in my life (some “frivolous”, some not), but paid it off.

Would I have qualified for “free” health coverage? You betcha; I fit the criteria OHP was using at the time. But I consider the highly stressful and budget-busting 4-years of monthly payments to be MY responsibility, not the responsibility of the taxpayers (my friends and neighbors). Some might say, “Well, you were privileged enough to have a credit card”…the hospital also offered a long-term payment option at about the same interest rate, so someone without a credit card could also make a payment plan.

A guy I know had a heart attack. More than $60K in hospital bills and no health insurance. The hospital admitted that an insurance company would pay a third or less, but they’d give him a 10% cash discount. He’s lucky he owns a house; he took out a second mortgage, which he strains to pay. Not a place you want to be when you’re closer to 70 than 50, but he and his wife have shouldered the responsibility.

A friend works for a company that offers insurance, but the employee has to pitch in about $100 per month. This man insists he can’t afford it and takes his kid to the Urgent Care or ER for a bad cold, expecting the taxpayers to foot the bill (and we do). While he can’t afford $100 for health insurance, he’s got a cell phone, Cable TV, DSL, and two dogs.

I’m not saying there aren’t people in America who honestly can’t afford the ridiculously rising costs of health care. I’m not saying it’s moral and ethical for hospitals to accept such low payments from insurance companies and stick it to private-payers to make up for their losses. And I’m not saying we (the taxpayers) shouldn’t help those who can’t help themselves.

What I am saying is this: our culture might need a new definition of can’t.

The Flickr Mosaic Meme

My Flickr Meme

Instructions for the Flickr Mosaic Meme:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the image’s URLs into mosaic maker.

The Questions:
1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name

Friday Five 2008.08.08

Friday Five Mini BannerLife
on the
Big Screen

Citizen Kane

1. In Citizen Kane, the main character’s last word before dying is “Rosebud,” which is discovered later to be the name of a favorite childhood sled. The idea is that this rich, powerful, hated man, in his last moment, finds himself thinking of happy, innocent times. If the film were about your life, what word might you utter in similar sentiment?

Actually, the idea of the sled, Rosebud, is that this man, who lived a happy childhood in relative poverty, is, despite the mounds of money he uses to buy love and to make others miserable, unable to find happiness in his pursuit and acquisition of the “American Dream”. He dies, isolated and achingly lonely, surrounded not by family and friends, but by countless displays of his material wealth. Rosebud, both the actual sled and his calling out of the name as he dies, symbolizes his utter isolation and inability to relate to the world in a mature, adult fashion.

It is the snow globe Kane drops as he dies which represents his happy, innocent days as a child. He first sees the snow globe the night he meets Susan, who is, like his mother, a simple woman; he even speaks about his mother the same night, one of only two times he mentions her. When Susan leaves him, he destroys her room but finds (and keeps) the snow globe, a symbol of the innocence, peace, and stability of his childhood.

But, who am I to quibble? Just answer the question!

Dying, my mind drawn to the happy, innocent times of my childhood, I might call out for “Warm Milk & Honey”!

Groundhog Day

2. In Groundhog Day, the main character is forced to live the same day again and again until he has learned to love others and to love himself. If you found yourself in an endless loop, living one day repeatedly until you learned the lesson that was holding you back, what would that lesson be?

Trust in myself, in my own intuition, my skills, my knowledge, my ability to thrive.

Freaky Friday

3. In Freaky Friday, a mother and daughter who have difficulty understanding each other find themselves each living the other’s life (occupying the other’s body and everything!). If this were to happen to you for similar reasons, whose body would you wake up in?

I like to think I’m pretty good at understanding the circumstances of other people’s lives and, because of this, making room for their behavior and beliefs, even when different from my own. I guess it would be someone who I perceive as having behavior and beliefs not explainable by their life circumstances… probably Rudy, then. I have a hard time understanding how he sees the world.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

4. In Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones has to jump into an underground room filmed with the one thing that freaks him out: snakes. “Why did it have to be snakes?” he asks. If the movie were about you, what would you see in the underground room?

Maggots or grubs…anything pasty white, eyeless, and wiggly, really.

Sideways

5. In Sideways, the main character is asked to explain his love for wine made from a certain grape:

“Um, it’s a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It’s uh, it’s thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It’s, you know, it’s not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it’s neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot’s potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they’re just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and… ancient on the planet.”

As he describes the grape, we realizes he is also describing himself, saying that he must be carefully tended and is easily damaged. If the film were about you, what passion (hobby, food, collectible, or activity, for example) would you describe and how would you describe it so that you were also describing yourself?

This question is just too deep and the honest answer too revealing. Let’s just say I’m like an onion. Lots of layers and the ability to make grown men weep.

Questions are from Friday5.org

Greg Grunberg’s Belly

This has to be my favorite of favorite ways someone finds my blog: Googling “greg grunberg belly”!

This post is for all of you who are pickin’ up what I’m puttin’ down!

It’s Greg Grunberg’s Belly!

Austin Powers 3
Martha Stewart
Bare Chested on Heroes
Greg Takes His Shirt Off